Should Women Settle

Many women wind up with someone who they never thought they would be with because they got tired of waiting on that one person who can offer them everything they want and then some. They hear that their standards are too high, they are getting old, or what they are looking for isn't realistic. They take all of that into consideration and find themselves unhappy and trying to turn the person who they are with into someone they are not, which brings us to that infamous question... should women settle?

Should women settle has always been and will always be an ongoing debate. In an article titled "Marry Him!" written by Lori Gottlieb, she stated, "settling will probably make you happier in the long run." I was totally taken by her comment and she has a right to her opinion, but the answer is no! You should not settle, but you do compromise. To clarify the difference, settling is settling for less; accepting false comfort, and compromise is coming to a "mutual" agreement and finding balance. "Many people look for someone to complete their life rather than compliment it" (Sacco, 2007)! By settling, you are giving yourself away at a discount to someone who will never truly fulfill your needs and make you complete.

You start on your settling quest when many people tell you that your wants are unrealistic. After processing those comments over and over, you slowly begin to agree because you can't seem to find a man who can provide you with your wants. Once you do that, you just started to lower your standards and became more open to accepting someone whom you wouldn't normally accept.

When you meet someone, you will not always know if this person is good for you because you will be too busy caught up in the adrenaline rush that you are blinded by reality. The longer the rush, the more you will be willing to accept things that you don't like. Once the rush is over, you start to see things that were hidden by the rush. Since most of you lead with emotions, you are now emotionally attached to someone who you know that you are not compatible with. And the longer you wait to get out of this relationship, the more you are willing to settle.

Accept the fact that you will have failed relationships; that is a way of life. However, I do understand that you will grow tiresome of relationship after relationship. You will often times become confused and start to wonder if something is wrong with you, but to further explain this, look up the article, "99 Percent of All Relationships Will Fail." When this happens, don't get discouraged and cling on to the next relationship that comes your way. You will be doing yourself a major injustice and find yourself settling again. If you know what you want, don't will it to happen, wait for it happen.

Finding someone who completes you requires patience. It may take longer for you than others, but don't get discouraged. If you get impatient, you will find yourself in a situation that you will probably regret. Don't get wrapped around your age and your beauty. Women are like fine wine... they get better with age.

"Many are in love with the idea of being "in love" and this is why they settle for less than ideal mates" (Sacco, 2007). You must realize while on your quest to meet the man who gives you everything you want and completes you, by no means will he be perfect. He is going to do things that will irritate you or have completely different views than you, but that doesn't mean he won't complete you. You may have so much in common, yet you two are very different. However, this doesn't mean you don't try. You still don't settle... but you do compromise. After you compromise and accept the things that you cannot change, he maybe just the person who completes you.

BY HARRISON OMOTUENMHEN