Things to Do on a Date That Are Cheap

The most exciting, romantic, fun and memorable dates do not have to be expensive. If you have either no budget or a small budget the key is to be creative and thoughtful. In the short paragraphs that follow you will learn the best things to do on a date that are cheap. You will also discover that free and cheap dates can be infinitely better than the most expensive dating experiences; we have all heard the saying, money does not bring happiness.

Go On A Picnic

You an go any where on a picnic. If you live in the city, find a park or even a roof! If you life in the country find somewhere exciting or romantic. Think out of the box. You could have a picnic at night under the stars or at dawn, watching the sun come up.

Watch Planes Take Off And Land

This is an exciting and free dating experience. Park your car as close to the runways as is possible. Get out of your car and site with your date on a blanket placed on the roof of your car. This is an exciting experience they will never forget.

Watch A Classic Movie At The Theater
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Everyone takes their date to the movies. It is one of those huge cliches. Be different. Take your date to a classic movie. This is a cheap date and can be a fantastic experience.

Go Swimming At An Expensive Hotel

Walk into an expensive hotel and use their swimming pool. You will be surprised. Most expensive hotels would not think twice of someone walking in and going swimming. Since they are so big, usually, they would not know you from their actual guests. This can be an exhilarating and fun dating experience and, of course, it is free.

Help The Community

You could spend the day helping the community in some way. One idea is to volunteer for the day at a homeless shelter. You could also pitch in at an old people's home. This is a free date and will reward you with lasting memories. It will also tell you a lot about the character of your date.

Visit A Local Landmark

You can find a list of all the local landmarks in your area by doing a brief search on Google. You might be surprised at just what is on offer. It will certainly make for a memorable date and will, perhaps, make you feel closer to the community in which you live.

Take A Ghost Walk

Many Towns and cities have late-night tours for people who want to spot ghosts. It usually involves a small group of excited individuals. At the end of your walk you usually go for drinks or a meal and discuss the recent activities.

Travel To Another Country, State, County or Province

This can be an exciting, somewhat eccentric date. You could spend the day in new places, for instance, or take a trip out of the city to a quaint town totally unlike your own town or city. Buy t-shirts to remember the experience whenever you wear them.

Go Fishing

If you already have finishing tackle, excellent. If not you can borrow it from a friend. If your date is new to fishing it can be a hugely memorable experience when you catch your first fish! Remember to take a camera to record the moments forever.

Build A Tree House

When you get older, you often forget the fun times you had as a child. It can be equally fun to re-visit your childhood. Building a tree house might take many days but each one will be exciting and fun. When you finishing building the tree house you are also left with a special place to visit and call your own.

Going on a date need not be expensive. What you must do is think out of the box. The best things to do on a date that are cheap can often cost you nothing at all and, yet, be hugely memorable experiences. When coming up with your own ideas, always keep your date in mind, and try to appeal to them as individuals. If they have always wanted to stargaze, taken them stargazing. Maybe they cannot remember much about their birth-town; take them there on a date! If you tailor your dates to suit your partner, the possibilities for a cheap date are endless and always fun.

8 LESSONS IN LOVE.

If you feel like it's time to reconnect with him, here's how to go about it...

Follow these eight steps to reconnecting with your partner, only moving on to the next step when your partner's ready. Take your time, as some of them may be difficult – honesty is often brutal.

The key is to have these discussions in a non-threatening, non-accusatory way. And if your partner refuses top discuss any of these issues, it may be time to reconsider his commitment to you.

1. Start talking to your partner again, making it clear what the benefits are if you reconnect. Get him to sit down with and listen.

2. Read up on relationship dynamics and share your knowledge with your partner. Don't be self- righteous or condescending. Also, don't hold yourself up as a relationship expert. Simply bring up any issues you've found interesting and ask for his opinion.

3. Work on your own self- esteem. If you feel better about yourself, you're much more likely to feel better about your partner.

4. When discussing relationship issues, focus on yourself – never accuse your partner. Rather approach things in a non-threatening way that encourages open discussion.

5. Talk about your relationship goals together, you shared very happy times- recall those and look at ways to return to that state of affairs.

6. Discuss what each of your needs are. Remember, the relationship will not be successful if the needs of both parties aren't met.

7. Talk about ways to meet needs that aren't being met at present – you might be surprised at what he feels is lacking in your relationship.

8. Commit to meeting each other's needs and continuing in a spirit of openness and honesty.

BY HARRISON OMOTUENMHEN.

More than words

What makes you feel most loved by your partner? What do you desire above all else? If nothing springs to mind immediately, try thinking about the negative use of love language, such as what your partner does (or doesn't do) that hurts you deeply. If, for example, your deepest pain comes from his criticism, your love language is probably Words of Affirmation.

What have you tended to ask of your partner? Whatever it is, is likely to be in keeping with your primary love language. For example, have you often verbalised your desire to spend more time with your partner or perhaps go away together at weekends? Then Quality Time is likely to be your primary love language.

Words of affirmation
Words of Affirmation are more than compliments – they are a way of communicating your thanks and appreciation for the 'little' things that your partner does for you. An affirmation person will be more willing to compromise, for example, if you show your appreciation for who they are and what they bring into your life. If you are the one in need of Words of Affirmation, tell your partner that you don't need affirmation because you don't trust or believe in his love, but because you are in need of reassurance as it makes you feel safe and secure. Compliments and positive input will also work better for you than criticism.

Quality time
If it's Quality Time that does it for you or your partner, it is important that you both know that it has nothing to do with proximity – watching TV together doesn't cut it. During this time you should give each other your undivided attention. According to Chapman, by giving your partner 20 minutes of your undivided attention, you are giving each other 20 minutes of life. You will never have that time again; you are essentially giving your lives to each other and this is a powerful communicator of love.

One man Chapman counselled said his wife had left him after 17 years of marriage and he couldn't understand why. She'd come home every evening and without fail would complain about her job. He dealt with this by giving her advice on how to deal with the situation. When she didn't take it, he got angry and told her he was no longer interested in discussing it with her and would leave the room whenever she brought it up. He assumed she wanted help, when all she wanted was for him to make the time to listen to her.

Receiving gifts
There's nothing quite like receiving a gift and it's hard to imagine anyone not feeling loved when they get one. It's something you can hold in your hand, knowing your partner was thinking of you. The gift itself is a symbol of that thought and is therefore very precious – whether it costs money or not. Gifts are visual symbols of love and are more important to some than to others. If Receiving Gifts is your primary love language you will be greatly moved by gifts, as you will see these as confirmation of your partner's love for you.

Obviously if they are not forthcoming, you may question that love. On the other hand, if your partner's primary love language is Receiving Gifts, and yours isn't, you will have to learn what Chapman calls your 'second language' and learn to become a present giver. Make a list of all the gifts your partner has expressed excitement about in the past and select ones you are comfortable with (they don't have to cost anything). Don't wait for a special occasion – almost any gift you give him will be seen as an expression of your love for him.

BY HARRISON OMOTUENMHEN

EARNING MORE THAN HIM.

Some men find it impossible to swap these roles,"says HARRISON"especially men who are stuck in traditional attitudes, who believe that a man's role is to make money and a woman’s role is to make babies and stay at home.

"For these men, the size of their home, the type of car they drive and the schools their children attend represent their success. A man like this will almost definitely experience conflict when 'traditional' gender roles are turned upside down and his wife or girlfriend actually earns more than him."

"A man who can't make the gender shift often feels like he has failed in the traditional role as provider, "This leads to low self-esteem, which, in turn, causes him to lash out at his partner."

Such a man accuses his wife of having affairs with a colleague; he questions every function she has to attend and is suspicious if she has to work late. Some men start accusing their wives of everything from frigidity to promiscuity.

"A successful woman who is involved with a man with low self-esteem, who can't handle her financial success, can get very depressed by the belittling accusations that her partner makes,

If you earn more than him and it causing tension, try these practical steps:

Don't shut him out
In these trying situations, successful women are often forced to adopt a very businesslike approach. "This may be necessary to ensure their success in their careers but it does little for their personal relationships.

"They develop an ability to "shut off" and refuse to discuss the situation. Her partner, who already feels emotionally uncomfortable, then experiences a further emotional blow from his wife’s distant attitude."

Making the relationship work
"Money is often the excuse for a couple to argue," says Cecile, "when in fact there may be underlying issues. Times have changed and women don't need to apologise for earning more but they must also be sensitive when they deal with their partner who may have a fragile ego.

"Men need to see the fact that their partner is doing well as a positive thing and not as a threat to their masculinity. Couples need to celebrate each other's strengths and successes."

Communication is vital
A couple must discuss the problems. The man has to have an outlet for his feelings and the woman should understand that she needs to be sensitive in not making him feel useless and inadequate.

"Men are very touchy in the arena of earnings," IF his partner earnings are more than he,s. this can really undermine him. It takes a lot of maturity from a man to handle this situation.

Be aware
If a woman is earning more, she must be hyper-aware of her partner and his needs. The most effective way of dealing with this situation is for the man not to see earning capacity as a reflection or direct sign of his potency. Go out of your way to make him feel potent and never ever throw it at him that you earn or pay for more. This is a sure way to make the man feel inadequate.

Be honest
Start with an open and honest discussion. This must take place without any accusations of 'you do this' or 'you do that'. Rather use the 'I' message.

Instead of saying, "You are aggressive", say, 'I experience you as being aggressive". Then it is not an attack but a subjective experience.

Just listen
Listen to what your partner is saying. The imago-technique can be used very successfully in such circumstances.

The imago-technique requires that person A is allowed to talk without person B interrupting; person B only listens. Person B must then summarise what he heard from A. A then answers and says whether what B heard is what A actually meant.

The process is then repeated and B talks while A listens. In this way they are prevented from yelling at each other and both parties learn to really talk to each other.

Put yourself in your partner's shoes
When you are wearing his/her shoes, you discover how to look at a situation through his/her eyes and to observe the situation as he/she sees it.

BY HARRISON OMOTUENMHEN

FOR THE LOVE OF SEX

At times it's incredibly seductive to make sensual love with the lights dimmed and flickering candles casting mysterious images on the walls. But there are other times when you just want each other so much that making love becomes wildly animalistic.

It's perfectly normal for one couple to have both kinds of sex at any given time in their relationship.

It's about love-making
So what's the difference between sex and making love? Like a good rule of thumb, this one's simple: if it's about connecting with each other, then it's about lovemaking. Look at the words "making love" – they're about creating something, building something, increasing intimacy. Lovemaking takes your relationship to a higher realm.

A close friend of mine received a terrible shock when her husband came home and told her he'd been retrenched. His failure hung heavily on him. Instead of her reassuring him with endless platitudes, they made gentle love – with him on top, while she caressed his body. Sometimes bodies talk more clearly to each other than the crispest sentences. Months later, when he'd found other work, he told her how meaningful their lovemaking had been that day – it was as though his manhood had been reaffirmed at the deepest level.

Because we are physical beings, on many occasions we find that there's a time for good old-fashioned love-making, and a place for "if it ain't kinky, it ain't sex". But if you have a secure, intimate relationship, and you've truly made love before, it's easy to know the difference, and thoroughly enjoy both kinds of sex.

BY HARRISON OMOTUENMHEN

CONVERSATION KILLERS

When out on a date, truly fabulous girls don't talk about themselves all the time. They ask a man open-ended questions and act as though whatever he says is fascinating. And until they know him really well, they avoid the following topics like the plague:

Health problems
Neither your ovarian cysts nor your Uncle's colon surgery will contribute much towards setting a romantic mood. And, for heaven's sake save your periods/acne/dandruff stories for your girlfriends. Guys really don't want to know.

Ex-boyfriends
Avoid any mention of exes at all. Talking too much about a past relationship will only reveal your flaws. He doesn't need to know your last boyfriend was a loser. There's no need tether yourself to the past. If he knows all your dating foibles, he's more likely to lose interest.

Daily grind
Face facts – most of what you did today wasn't very exciting – at least, not to a man you don't know very well yet. Domestic mishaps, you nephew's antics, the squabble at the office and your addiction to Isidingo will inspire more yawns than and sleeping pills.

BY HARRISON OMOTUENMHEN.

BREAK IT OFF

While you are in a relationship, you are out of circulation. So you are stopping yourself from finding a happier relationship with someone you are better suited to.

Susan Page, author of If I'm so wonderful why am I still single, says that another important reason to get out of an unhealthy relationship is that staying in one could be detrimental to your self-esteem. Even though self-esteem is largely about feelings you have about yourself, they still need to be reinforced by positive messages from outside.

If your partner doesn't appreciate or love you for who you are, you risk starting to see yourself as they see you. Staying in a relationship in which you spend a lot of time with a person who doesn't value you and turns your positive qualities into negative ones will severely harm your self-esteem.

Does your partner tell you that your natural need for intimacy shows you are being clingy? Does he say that your outgoing personality is irritating and attention-seeking? Does he say your sensitivity is over-dramatic and crazy? It is imperative to get out of any relationship that reinforces your weaknesses rather than your strengths.

If you answered yes to any of these questions then it's time to break it off. It won't be easy but Susan Page suggests the following four strategies for ending things:

1. Try to say something positive before or after you end the relationship. Bad news is easier to digest if it comes with a genuine compliment.

2. Remember that you are not responsible for giving a reason for saying no to the relationship. You can be polite and respectful, but you don't have to give a lengthy explanation for your decision.

3. Don't offer false hope. Be clear that this is the end.

4. Remember, you are not responsible for the other person's reaction to your saying no. As long as you are kind, you cannot control how the person is going to react.

If you're still having second thoughts about breaking it off, be honest and ask yourself if you are getting what you really want and deserve out of the relationship. And if you've asked for it before but it just doesn't seem to happen, you know what needs to be done.


by HARRISON OMOTUENMHEN.