Susan Page, author of If I'm so wonderful why am I still single, says that another important reason to get out of an unhealthy relationship is that staying in one could be detrimental to your self-esteem. Even though self-esteem is largely about feelings you have about yourself, they still need to be reinforced by positive messages from outside.
If your partner doesn't appreciate or love you for who you are, you risk starting to see yourself as they see you. Staying in a relationship in which you spend a lot of time with a person who doesn't value you and turns your positive qualities into negative ones will severely harm your self-esteem.
Does your partner tell you that your natural need for intimacy shows you are being clingy? Does he say that your outgoing personality is irritating and attention-seeking? Does he say your sensitivity is over-dramatic and crazy? It is imperative to get out of any relationship that reinforces your weaknesses rather than your strengths.
If you answered yes to any of these questions then it's time to break it off. It won't be easy but Susan Page suggests the following four strategies for ending things:
1. Try to say something positive before or after you end the relationship. Bad news is easier to digest if it comes with a genuine compliment.
2. Remember that you are not responsible for giving a reason for saying no to the relationship. You can be polite and respectful, but you don't have to give a lengthy explanation for your decision.
3. Don't offer false hope. Be clear that this is the end.
4. Remember, you are not responsible for the other person's reaction to your saying no. As long as you are kind, you cannot control how the person is going to react.
If you're still having second thoughts about breaking it off, be honest and ask yourself if you are getting what you really want and deserve out of the relationship. And if you've asked for it before but it just doesn't seem to happen, you know what needs to be done.by HARRISON OMOTUENMHEN.
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